Reaching Out

     A client reminded me today that everyone needs to feel that they are valued. My client was severely depressed and in need of some outside help over the weekend. On Friday she had agreed to voluntarily admit herself to the hospital just for the weekend. She never made it. Myself and another worker became worried when we tried to reach out to her on Monday morning and could not find her. Message after message we left her. Tuesday morning we decided to go to her house. We found her sitting in her apartment, door open, folding laundry and weeping. When she noticed us she wiped off her tear stained face and asked what we were doing there. "We were concerned about you." I said to her. Through sobbing and tears she said, "I can't believe you came out here to check up on me. It's nice to feel valued." 

     However, sometimes it's not this easy to spot a need and reach out.

     My family and I attended this one church for years. My mother and father were "regulars" there. They attended each Sunday for school and church. They were there on Wednesday nights for prayer meetings and they also became members. Each time they were at the church, my sister and I were there also. We even attended the youth group that they offered. 

     Fast forward about 8 or 9 years and I was married in this very same church. I attended with my husband on Sundays, was there on Wednesday nights, joined one of their Bible study groups and even hosted the group at my house a time or two. My children were dedicated in the church as well. People knew me and the church was not a very large one. 

     After my youngest son was born, my husband and I began to have some problems. I talked about it and received some advice from some of the people in my church. No matter what I tried, we just couldn't resolve our issues and a few short years later, we divorced. 

     I was just distraught over this divorce. I was angry at myself for not having a perfect marriage like people in church had and I was scared to go back to the church afterwards for fear that they would shun me. Little did I know, they would anyway. 

     I completely stopped going to church. I did not attend on Sunday's or Wednesday's and I no longer attended the Bible study that I had gone to for years. I isolated myself from the church because I felt that they did not want me. Weeks went by and turned into months. I received not one phone call from anyone at this church. Months turned into years and still not one word from anyone. 

     Two years later, I received a letter in the mail from the church. I wondered what it could possibly be. How did they even have my address still? I was hopeful that maybe someone was reaching out to me to see how I was and invite me back to church. In an instant after opening the letter, I had complete disdain for the church and all it stood for. It was a letter from the Pastor of the church and he was asking for money. "MONEY?!" I screamed out to an empty room. "They know my address to ask for money, but not one person could take 5 minutes to see how I was or where I was?" I asked to an empty room. I'm not sure how long I stood there holding that letter with hurt in my heart and tears in my eyes but that memory still makes me angry some 20 years later. 

     I realize that sometimes people don't know what to say so it's easier to not say anything. But you really never know who needs to feel valued. Reach out and just let someone know your thinking about them. A card, a text, an email, a phone call. It can really make a difference in someone's life.